March 24th, 2007

Everyone who came to the ceremony said it was just how a wedding should be--focused on the Lord and the union of the couple. Pastor Douglas Withington of Pilgrim Orthodox Presbyterian Church officiated and gave a great message that went through some of the deepest passages of the Bible regarding marriage. The only problem was that he forgot to seat the congregation, so everyone stood during the entire sermon! He honestly forgot to seat them and I was very thankful later when we sang a hymn and he joked that everyone could remain seated--I was glad he was able to laugh at himself. He is such a great and faithful minister!



We sang two congregational hymns:

O God Beyond All Praising - This was my favorite hymn, and a perfect wedding hymn. It is set to Gustav Holst's The Planets - Jupiter: the Bringer of Jolity, which is a stirring, stately piece. Besides that, the theology and praise is profound and moving. I love how the hymn confirms our dedication to serve the Lord with our marriage.

O God beyond all praising, we worship you today
and sing the love amazing that songs cannot repay;
for we can only wonder at every gift you send,
at blessings without number and mercies without end:
we lift our hearts before you and wait upon your word,
we honor and adore you, our great and mighty Lord.

Then hear, O gracious Savior, accept the love we bring,
that we who know your favor may serve you as our king;
and whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill,
we'll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still:
to marvel at your beauty and glory in your ways,
and make a joyful duty our sacrifice of praise.

Be Thou My Vision - This is just an old favorite that Sarah loves and has always wanted to sing at her wedding. We loved the beautiful Irish tune and the way it calls us all to have a God-entranced vision of all things.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

The reception was weird for me even though it was a simple, informal kind of standing around, dancing, talking and finger food kind of thing. I felt like I should be the one coordinating the right music, the best time for a toast, to cut the cake, and to dance. I wanted to arrange everything to best serve the guests, and it was weird to me to think that other people wanted to coordinate things to serve me and Sarah. The day before, I had gathered together a few baby and childhood pictures of Sarah and of me and put them into a slideshow that progressed from our childhood to our lives together, ending with our engagement pictures. Before the wedding, I set the computer up on a central table and connected it to another flat-panel monitor and put it on loop play. I think this was a great way for people to see the baby pictures that are usually seen at weddings in a better way than just setting pictures on a table for people to pick up.

I told my brother Evan, who was my best man, to go up and give a toast. The toast was short and heart-felt, and then Sarah and I cut the cake. I was in a rush of nerves and awkwardness as I put the knife in Sarah's hands and held on to it myself, and cut a small piece of the cake with her, and used a serving utensil to put it on a little plate. Then I realized I was supposed to feed it to Sarah... and I had not thought at all about how I was going to accomplish this! Do I just shove the whole thing into her face? No, I remember a long time ago my mom said that was tacky to do at a wedding... Do I use a fork and just give her a dainty little bite? No fork anywhere! So I just took my hand, grabbed a communion-sized piece of cake and frosting, and nicely placed it in Sarah's mouth. She did the same back, and it was perfect. Sarah's friends were all saying "aw you guys are way too nice!" and you know what? We are!

Then it was time for our first dance. We had it to the song L.O.V.E. performed by Nat King Cole. When I picked it, Sarah had said "ok, but is it too jazzy? Because I don't want it to be jazzy." I had kind of fibbed and said "oh no it's not too jazzy", haha not too jazzy for me! Well there we were and it started out slow and sweet, Sarah and I in the center and everyone watching as we slowly stepped together in a circle... and then came the swing! The swinging trumpets and bass and drum beat, and my feet pick up a bit and there's a bounce in my step, and Sarah smiles nervously and says "what are you doing?" And I spin her! She says "oh no, no no no" and digs her nails into my shoulder before she goes around once, twice and the third time! Remember, Sarah hates being the center of attention, and when she ever is, she tries to be a discrete as possible. Good thing everyone there knew us well enough to know that of course I would want to dance crazier than Sarah, so it was totally to be expected. When the song was half over, Sarah's parents and then my parents both got up to dance. Next I put on something by Frank Sinatra, Fly Me to the Moon and Sarah danced with her father for the first part, later to be joined on the floor by me dancing my mother, David dancing with Mrs. Fatheree, and my sister dancing my dad. After that, all the girls aged 5-20 danced to upbeat oldies kind of music, staring with Dancing in the Moonlight.

Sarah and I made our exit amid bubbles and rows of our family and friends. Then we got to my car. Note to Emily's friends: decorate the car however you want, that's your prerogative, but do not cram food in the door handles and smear food on the windshield! The first, because that's what you do to your friend's car in high school in the parking lot, not at a wedding; and the second, because it is a serious safety hazard to drive with smeared food and car paint on the windshield! Great scot.

All in all, the wedding was focused on the Lord, a blessing to us and our families, and modest. I hope the marriage will be the same way.

Everything's Different

Well everything is different--again. We are overjoyed to announce that through a work of the Lord, we are now going to be married on March 24th! So soon? I know, right! Plans began right at the end of February, and we've decided to have a small wedding (which is turning into a bigger and bigger wedding) and have it in Sarah's small church. We are so amazed that the Lord would work it out for us to be married so soon, but as the day comes closer and closer, we both see how we could have never waited all the way to December, and that our wedding will be at long last! We see how March 24th, even though we didn't know it was coming until we arranged it last month, is the perfect date from the Lord; it could have been no later, and no sooner.

Sarah and I are pretty busy now! She's getting her dress fitted, my parents bought me a black suit for my birthday, and we've been shopping for rings. It is so strange to be shopping for a ring for myself! As if I know what I want in a ring--something I have never worn before... All I want is something that says "I am a man and I am married" without making my hand look girly. For Sarah, we have the option of buying a nice, but very inexpensive plain wedding band that matches her engagement ring well, or get a band with 8 little princess-cut diamonds in a channel on the top that, together with her solitaire princess diamond, looks so pretty. The only problem is that the diamond band is 6 times more expensive, but I have a feeling it would be worth every penny... We'll see.

We are so excited, and expectant that the Lord will bless.

Trials

During our courtship, the Lord has given us several trials. With every trial comes more dependence upon God and love of Christ, so we are thankful for each one. Right now, we are going through a trial of getting my family's blessing on our marriage. My parents have expressed that they will not bless a wedding this summer and they are against it. Now, after a lot of counseling with pastors, Sarah's parents, our trusted friends, and of course lots of prayer, we have come to a decision. It's better, in the eyes of the Lord, to wait and have my parents blessing. Sarah took it harder than anyone, that's for sure. I am so very proud that the other day, she was able to find the courage to write the following note and post it online for all her friends and family:

So, I think alot of people have heard by now that Blake and I are going to postpone our wedding. It will most likely now be in December, over Christmas Break. The reason for this is that Blake's family has raised so many objections against us marrying in June, that Blake wants to do what's right to honor God through honoring his parents. We don't believe any of the things they have brought up against us are biblical or right, but we feel that God would want us to wait so that we can have their blessing. We are really hoping they will compromise with us and bless a December wedding -- a 6 month longer wait for Blake and I and a 6 month shorter date then what they want for us. Please be in prayer for both our families in this very trying time, but especially for Blake and I that we would have the patience and strength to wait. I have been really struggling so much with this and it makes me so sad that after months of planning for a wedding in June (I already have my dress and save the date invitations), these objections would come out of no where. I need God's strength right now more than anyone can imagine. I'll let everyone know when the new wedding date will be as soon as we know. Love y'all!

We plan to have my parent's blessing for December 07. They, my parents, could have no way of knowing how hard it is for Sarah and I to wait, especially since we have been counseled by many people not to wait. We trust in the Lord to supply the strength to get through this trial like he has given for every past trial and he will give for the many trials of our future. If we want our marriage to be for holiness, then we must commit to holiness together from the start.

From the Archives - Part Two

Today marks the third month of our engagement! In honor of the occasion, Sarah and I have been looking at some things from our past, and we are bringing them to you in a two part series called From the Archives. We hope you have enjoyed Part One, and here in Part Two, we reveal an actual exchange between Sarah and Blake within the first week of their aquaintance! Note: As stated before, this blog is more for Sarah and Blake than anyone else, so understand the following has limited interest to other people! but I still think it's pretty cool!

blakolawesome: hey sarah,
BkReader0221: yeah?
blakolawesome: have any of the people from your highschool or friends your own age like, been crazy and gotten married?
BkReader0221: yeah.....im the only girl at my church now who has not been engaged by 18....all my other friends were engaged by 18 and married by 19
blakolawesome: what!
BkReader0221: haha
blakolawesome: no way!!!
BkReader0221: yeah, technically, im an old maid
BkReader0221: lol
blakolawesome: I wasn't going to be surprised if you knew some who were married,
blakolawesome: but I thought it would be like two or three
BkReader0221: no, its like 6 
blakolawesome: that is soooo crazy sarah
blakolawesome: don't they realize?
blakolawesome: not to be like, mean or anything, but I kind of see it seriously as a way to 'play grown-up'
BkReader0221: yeah, well, alot of those girls didnt believe in going to college, they believe a womans place is to get married and be a home maker
BkReader0221: only one of the girls stuck with college
BkReader0221: and she'll be graduating this year
BkReader0221: and shes having a baby too
blakolawesome: did they marry guys their age or like, older??
BkReader0221: umm, now to think of it, they were all older 
blakolawesome: I was thinking about my good brother Mark
blakolawesome: and how he has a girlfriend now, and everyone at the church just knows they are going to get married
blakolawesome: and she jokes about it and like, says he's just 'stalling'
blakolawesome: he just turned 21 and she's 22 actually
blakolawesome: and like, I really feel sorry for poor Mark
BkReader0221: why? does he not want to get married? 
blakolawesome: no I feel sorry for him because he DOES want to get married
blakolawesome: haha
BkReader0221: what? why do you feel sorry for him then? 
blakolawesome: oh, maybe you don't understand? marriage is a death-trap
BkReader0221: excuse me? 
blakolawesome: haha just kidding, but like, I have these mixed feelings about it
BkReader0221: how so? 
blakolawesome: because I actually don't believe in marriage without bearing children
BkReader0221: yeah 
blakolawesome: and I don't believe in bearing children without being responsible
blakolawesome: and I don't believe in being responsible without being at least like, 25
BkReader0221: I believe that there has to be responsibility, but there is no real age at which someone becomes responsible.....one of the girls at my church who had a baby when she was 20, is one of the most responsible moms I ever met 
blakolawesome: that's good, but it's so rare
blakolawesome: did any of those girls who got married do so like, without having children on purpose for a while?
BkReader0221: well, only the one girl who decided to finish college 
blakolawesome: well you seem to know some pretty good people
blakolawesome: and I guess it's because of the church you go to
blakolawesome: but I know more than few people who have gotten married
blakolawesome: and if they had thought that marriage means having children too
blakolawesome: then they would have known it was way too soon
BkReader0221: but its not like you have to have kids right away 
blakolawesome: I mean, what I'm saying is that young people getting married just to get married and not for ministry, and not for holiness, and not for having children right away is such a wrong reason
blakolawesome: oh it's not like you have to--but it IS like you can't try and prevent it
blakolawesome: if you know what I mean
BkReader0221: yeah 
blakolawesome: any two people getting married should be completely ready for children to come right away
blakolawesome: and I know so many who just got married and they know they can't have kids yet
BkReader0221: what about enjoying married life for a bit before having kids?
BkReader0221: thats what my parents did
BkReader0221: like they new they wanted kids
BkReader0221: but they waited a bit
blakolawesome: that's for God to decide for you, though sarah
blakolawesome: and it's not our place to say we would enjoy ANYTHING without God's blessing on it
blakolawesome: but that attitude seems to say 'I don't care what would honor God, I want to enjoy this now'
BkReader0221: God ordained marriage to be a representation of Christs love for us......im not saying a diagree with you, im just saying that....well, im not sure what im saying
BkReader0221: lol
blakolawesome: I totally used to think the same thing, and I always always said that I want to get married and then wait a few years before having kids to really have a great marriage
blakolawesome: but now I understand so much more about satisfaction in God only
blakolawesome: and I say why would I ever assume I could plan the best marriage or family?
BkReader0221: true 
blakolawesome: if God wants my marriage to have kids immediately, it doesn't matter what we do to prevent it, we will have them
blakolawesome: if God wants us to be just together for a few years, it doesn't matter how hard we try to have kids, we won't have them
BkReader0221: I agree with what your saying there 
blakolawesome: Psalm 127:4
Like arrows in the hand of a warriorare the children of one's youth.
blakolawesome: sometimes I really believe I'm either going to never marry and be in ministry to the world my whole life, or marry and have like 11 kids and have a ministry of a godly family
BkReader0221: you could also marry and go into ministry with your family 
blakolawesome: right, but we both know it would be different that way. of course if I had family I would be in ministry regardless,
BkReader0221: what about missionary families? 
blakolawesome: haha maybe that will be me
blakolawesome: but still, there's a lot more to consider with the family that I wouldn't on my own
BkReader0221: thats always true 
blakolawesome: like... having life insurance, lol
BkReader0221: haha

From the Archives

Here's something Sarah dug up when we were talking about the first time I ever wrote her a message. It's the first real communication from me to her. Note: the photo for Sarah's profile did NOT look like that on December 27th, 2005. That is the current picture as of today--the archive photos are updated.



We have also been getting some exact dates for our 'firsts' because pretty soon we will be celebrating 1 year anniversaries for many of them!

First Message to Sarah - December 27th, 2005
First Phone call - December 28th, 2005
First IM Conversation - January 2nd, 2006
First Meeting (Even though Sarah saw me at the student building before this and was too scared to tell me hi!) - January 16th, 2006
First Time Meeting Sarah's Family - February 18th, 2006
First Time Talking to Parents About Courting - April 8th, 2006
Officially Courting - April 13th, 2006
Asking Sarah's Dad to Marry Sarah - September 3rd, 2006
Buying the Ring(We had been looking for a ring for a few weeks already) - September 4th, 2006
Getting Engaged to Sarah - September 8th, 2006

Now it's December 8th, 2006 and we are celebrating our 3 month engagement anniversary by taking a look at how God has been at work in our relationship. And thank the Lord I had my last college exam today--making me officially a college graduate!

P.S. - If anyone can correctly guess the date of our first kiss, we will give them a prize ;)

Part VI - More Than Friends

At this time of their lives, Sarah and Blake both had their own sets of friends. The difference was, Sarah's friends were much more studious than Blake's, and many had long-distance relationships with guys that they talked to on the phone for hours each night. This meant that Sarah was always free in the evenings, but Blake was often socially entangled. Blake was never the kind to schedule his activities more than one day in advance, and liked to remain uncommitted as long as possible, always favoring the newest, most last minute plans--the complete opposite of Sarah! In those days, many times would Sarah call Blake and ask what he was doing that night only to hear in reply, 'I don't know yet, but it should be pretty good! I might be going over to so-and-so's or me and a few people are getting together to go out... but I don't know! I'll call if I'm not doing anything!' And little did Blake know that this was hurting poor Sarah's heart! She didn't want to wonder if she would be Blake's fall-back plan, even though Blake never once thought of it like that--he liked doing different things with different people as much as possible. In fact, a good (well actually, bad) example was a time when Blake had offers from 3 separate groups of friends to go hear John Piper preach in Winston Salem, and he invited a guy from his class to go last minute. He found out Sarah was going with a few of her friends anyway, so Blake rode with another group and didn't even end up seeing Sarah there at all in all the confusion!
Even though Sarah didn't feel very special, it didn't stop her sweet self from calling Blake and getting together with him on a very regular basis. Blake loved his time with her because she was so sweet and soft-spoken, Blake felt very natural around her and just act like himself.

Sarah and Blake did everything together. Go to Wal-Mart. Eat lunch. Go to the bank. Sweet Sarah was always at his side, and he loved that. Never before had he felt free enough with someone to take the liberty of bringing them along for normally boring things for a second person to do--like go to the bank. Sweet Sarah even sat and watched Blake as he played a video game he used to play a lot called Marble Blast Gold. Blake was amazed she actually seemed to enjoy just watching him play (though it must be said it is a pretty awesome game to play/watch)! This and many other acts of sweetness warmed his heart to her, but more than that was the subject of their conversations.

Sarah and Blake agreed on pretty much everything pertaining to the Bible, theology, courting, marriage, family issues, baptism, and more. It was very encouraging for them to pick each other's thoughts on certain scriptures and issues. Blake had never met a girl more solid and theologically rich, and more suitable for exactly the life he had in mind; namely, missions.

Naturally, Blake got really sweet on Sarah. He began to call her before she had the chance to call him, and when he dropped her off at her dorm at night, he would say something stupid like, 'you know Sarah, I love hanging out with you. You are a real cute girl. goodnight!' Next, Blake did a few silly things that now he wishes he would have done differently. He couldn't (but should have) known the full effect that holding hands when walking and putting his arm around her during a movie had on Sarah. If Blake had wanted to save her some real mixed emotions, and been totally above reproach, he would have asked to officially court her then instead of waiting a month! It was just such a major decision!

Part V - Fast Friends!

So Sarah and Blake had now formally met and knew that they would be real good friends, especially since they shared the Great Reformed Faith! In the following days, it was truly unplanned and coincidental that Blake and Sarah ended up together for a walk or drive almost every evening. After a while, it became planned. It was something Blake realized both all at once, and in parts, that Sarah was special! He knew at first she was special, so that's why he didn't mind seeing her all the time, but as a few weeks went by, it was a given he would finish class and call Sarah.
There was one evening, very early on, Blake didn't have much time but he wanted to see Sarah, so he told her he would come over just for a real quick walk. It was only once around the quad, but Blake asked about if she had ever liked any boys before. She told him yes, but it always led to disappointment and that she didn't think any boy had ever been fully honest or even interested in her. She said that even when maybe a guy had maybe liked her and she had even let herself get some kinds of feelings... it seemed like in the end the guy would disappear or move on or lose interest. How sad! Blake tried to help her understand the situation with his normal anti-romantic line:

"Boys are entirely self-centered and really think they are doing a girl a service by obsessing over her for a little while."

"Guys can like 8 or 9 different girls--all at the same time! The craziest thing? We convince ourselves that our feelings are completely genuine and not self absorbed at all."

"Romantic love as our culture understands it is Satanic."

"Dating is so unbiblical!"

"I would say that guys are at least if not more sensitive and obsessive about image than girls. You would be so surprised how insecure guys are--to the point they are looking for their value from relationships in ways that people thought only girls did."

"Any guy who would go out with a girl without talking to her dad is pathetic."

..and so on.

Anyway, Sarah seemed to be pretty much on the same wavelength. It was easy to talk about this (later Sarah admitted she didn't know why she would even open up like that because she would never usually do something like that) and Blake for sure felt like he wanted to help Sarah feel accepted and cherished as a friend. And that was the first time Blake and Sarah talked about relationships as friends.

Part IV - They Meet

So now it's mid January, and it's been 3 solid weeks of talking online and the phone for Blake and Sarah and school has resumed. They have really enjoyed getting to know each other and are both glad they have a new friendship. Sarah confided to Blake that she and some of her other friends had recently been praying for fellowship with Christian guys, since the group they went to is more than 80 percent female. Blake was delighted to hear that and his heart warmed at the thought of being Sarah's friend and brother in Christ. Since they were both in Greensboro now, Sarah said she would look to see if she could spot Blake at the campus fellowship's next meeting. Blake was commuting back and forth from his parent's house in Chapel Hill at this time, because back in December he had moved out of the party house he lived in with those stoners. Blake just packed and left that house half-way through his lease, and was very lucky indeed when another guy moved in to replace him and pay his rent. Anyway, Blake said he would love to see Sarah at the meeting on Thursday night if he was able to come. Thursday came, and after a long day of classes, Blake was planning on going to the meeting when he got a call from his good brother Mark from church. A large party was happening in celebration of Mark's 21st birthday at a local downtown pub. The whole church was coming (thank the Lord for Presbyterians) and Blake didn't want to miss out on fellowship with his church, and since he wouldn't technically be breaking a promise to Sarah, he bought a gift for Mark at an outdoor store and went over to have a few drinks and dinner in fellowship. At the end of the night, Blake was just about drive all the way back to Chapel Hill when Nate offered to let him sleep on his couch. Blake did so, then woke up the next day and showered at the school rec center because Nate had to leave for work at 7:30 and Blake didn't want to get up before that, but that's another story. If he had only known the beauty and royalty of this princess Sarah he would have gone to see her even if it meant not getting home at all and sleeping in his car (which he did end up doing later at her request this summer while in Austin, but that's another story)!

The next day on the phone Sarah told Blake that she had looked for him at the meeting. Blake was so sorry he didn't tell her that he was going to the party and was so sorry this poor girl expected him there and he wasn't there, that he decided to make it up to her the very next week and meet her at the UNCG men's basketball game. Blake was busy over that weekend, because he signed a lease with Phil, a really good brother, to live in a stylish appartment in the exclusive boho student quarter on the good side of campus. When the day came to meet, they had talked on the phone earlier and Blake had tried his best to ease Sarah's nerves about meeting him and told her it was all just friendly and how it would be fun to see the person they had been talking to so much for the past few weeks, but Sarah was more nervous than even Blake could have guessed. The plan was to just meet inside the rec building at the beginning of the game. Something came up that was going to make Blake late, and about 20 minutes before the game was to start, Blake pulled out his phone to call Sarah--not realizing he was calling the wrong Sarah! He heard a voicemail from Sarah C, a girl counselor at Blake's camp he worked at in New Hampshire, and not really listening to the voicemail greeting, left a message for the wrong Sarah, telling her he would be late!

Blake rode his bike up to the outside of the recreation building and jumped off, about halfway through the first half. As he was walking through the doors, he called Sarah (the right one) to see where she was. Sarah had almost given up expecting Blake to come and even felt like he was standing her up and he was a big loser! She told him where she was sitting though, and he tried to find her in the crowd, but she saw him before he saw her and told him to walk down the steps. He sat down, said hi, and smiled. Sarah was wearing jeans and a navy tshirt, with a yellow ribbon in her hair. She looked beautiful.

They spent the game watching and talking a little, and after the game Blake walked her over to her dorm just a short stroll away. They said goodbye and that was pretty much it--never did Blake feel he was putting anything on or trying to impress. Everything was so natural!